In the outrageous seats were fans of the Rams, fans of the Bengals ( Who Can It Be Now!), and then there were people like us. Alas, good event planning got us from the Valley to the stadium in less than an hour. The whole dashboard of the EQS is a giant touchscreen that almost made me wish for regular, standstill 405 freeway traffic so I could play with it more. Our good fortune came via Mercedes Benz, which gave us the tickets and loaned us an EQS, its first electric sedan, to drive to the game. Our section was all people like us who came upon these seats somehow and could not believe their good fortune. We were in a section that was beyond the rich and famous. We, by contrast, were in outrageous seats. Those celebrities were in club-level seats, where you’re kind of outside and kind of inside, where you can dip in for a drink and a nosh and not miss anything. You saw Chris Tucker working the crowd, you saw Charlize Theron voguing, you saw Ye Ye-ing. Now, if you watched the game, you saw the celebrities. I don’t know anything more about the game, mind you, but as of today, I have a low level of knowledge and very loud opinions. I was at the 25-yard line, in the front row, basically inside the game, and now I am all about football. I was at Super Bowl LVI, as the Los Angeles Rams faced the Cincinnati Bengals ( Who Dey!).
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I can give you the basics, but if the conversation gets deeper, into talk of blitzes and screen passes and whatnot, I have a little face-saving trick that I have used from a very early age, which is called “walking away from the conversation.” Sports, in any context other than the Huey Lewis and the News album, is not my jam.
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I am, shall we say, “not a sports guy.” My full knowledge of the game of football is whatever they put in the movie Rudy, so I am aware of the basic rules and scoring and that you need to be small and scrappy and have an irrepressible can-do spirit that eventually wins even the bullies around. I will admit to you this was not an item on my bucket list. A thing you ought to do once in your life is go to the Super Bowl and sit in the front row.